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Resolutions - but do they make you happy?

Did you make any resolutions for 2019? How are they working out for you?

If you are anything like I was, they are usually broken before the end of the first week of January! It usually left me feeling a bit useless, which made me feel a little bit unhappy, which was totally counter-productive to my goal of making all these radical changes so I could be happy! That made me even unhappier. Does this sound familiar to you and are you feeling sucked into the cycle of feeling like you have failed? If you are resolutely sticking to your resolutions then I applaud you and sincerely wish you all the best for a happy and healthy 2019.

I always struggled until I discovered mindfulness and if you are struggling, please read on.

We often make resolutions because we feel unhappy with ourselves or our life in some way. If only I could stop eating carbs I would loose weight and then I would be happy, if only I could have some serious abs, I would be happy, if I had more time, more money, a bigger house, a better car, I would be happy... We assume that we need to alter ourselves or our lifestyle to achieve the ultimate goal of happiness but what we do not realise at the time is that we are already perfect as we are. Yes, you really are! I am not saying that we shouldn't have goals or aspirations but that we could be more realistic about what those goals are and our expectations of what they may bring.

Shifting some excess kilos and becoming healthier is a positive step forward, but are you blindly joining a gym because you feel that it is what you should be doing even though you despise it?

Maybe you would like to be outside in the fresh air and so a beginners runners club or Nordic walking class might be more up your street?

Try taking the time to consciously think about what it is that you enjoy doing first and what time you have to commit to those activities to help you meet more realistic and enjoyable goals?

Also, please remember one of the golden attitudes of mindful living being 'non-judgement'. If something didn't work out for you, you didn't fail, it just didn't work out. Try not to be so judgemental of your experiences and instead accept them for however they panned out. Be kind to yourself, always, and remember each moment is a new moment to start again - yay!

At The New Year Collective event last year, I listened to a speaker, Phil Rose, who summed up a different approach beautifully. Instead of HAVE - DO - BE why not try BE - DO - HAVE? I'll explain:

We tend to waste precious moments wishing, 'if only I could HAVE more time, money, energy... I could get out and DO the things that I want to do so that I can finally BE me. We can find inner peace and happiness, it is within us all of the time, it has just been obscured by, well, stuff and life, but it is there, we just need to learn how to tap into it. Mindful practice lays the path to it. What if I said that by learning how to BE more comfortable in your own skin first, accepting 'what is' so you can unleash yourself from chains of life giving you the space and clarity to go out and DO the things you need to HAVE what it is you want.

My daily resolution is to try and be more like a human being rather than a human doing!

If you would like to learn how to simply 'be' to achieve a happier and healthier life then why not join either the next daytime or evening MBCT Mindfulness for Wellbeing course. Follow this link for more information and feel free to contact me, Tricia, on 07776 132083 / to have a chat about the course in more detail.


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